So me and a friend were driving home from dinner one evening.It was just a normal day in London, the sky was blue and overcast as usual. In the midst of our conversation about the big birthday coming up, I turned to my friend, who is not a Christian (yet) and said, “Life is such a mystery, I don’t know why God makes it that way but He just does”.
I could see from out of the corner of my eye that she was moved by my sudden deep expression of words.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You know, there was a time when I thought I had the answers or could find the answer to most things in life. Now it’s just a mystery”. I said.
She nodded in agreement, and I then started to reflect on my life BC (Before Christ) in my twenties and how I came to know God. I talked deeply about how I felt over the years and about this landmark birthday. She too had crossed over into her thirties, and could relate and so we began to swap stories.
“Well I’m still gonna rock life”, she concluded
“Me too,” I added, and we laughed.
That night when I got home, it dawned on me that there were some things I’ve thought for years, or opinions I have, that just don’t hold up in times of trouble and during challenges.
Let me give you an example. I thought it was good to be proud and independent in my early twenties. “I don’t need anybody to do anything for me, I’m okay on my own.” I specifically remember telling a guy this. Needless to say he was gone with the wind in no time. Don’t get me wrong it’s great to be able to do things for yourself. But in this day and age that belief can be self-limiting. Time and time again God has shown me I am nothing without him, and His strength is definitely made perfect in my weakness. The truth is I have never been independent, nor will I ever be. I am fully dependent on Him. Fact. To think otherwise is just plain foolish.
I also thought that money would solve all my problems. How wrong could I be? The truth is there are some things that money can’t buy. I formed some of my worst habits throughout my twenties based on these concepts.
Now that I have ‘turned’ as I like to refer to it, (I still can’t actually say the number) I have come to the realisation that life is just not that simple, and only God knows best.
Recently Pastor Agu said something in a sermon that has stuck with me “Die to the way you thought [life] would be,” I was devastated. Distraught.Annoyed. (I still am) You mean I have to give up all my plans? This phrase literally challenged me, and has unfortunately or fortunately, (I have not decided which one it is yet) stuck with me It has made me think hard about my life and how I want it to turn out.When I remember the way I think (I mean thought) I am reminded that it is ultimately God’s way and not mine. Dying to my old ways, thoughts and believes is the hardest thing I have ever had to contemplate (breathe, breathe) I feel like now, with this ‘turning’ I am ready to start doing this properly.
What I know now, I didn’t know then. For me, the most significant thing is that I cannot be afraid to tell people about who God is in my life. Dying to the old ways I used to follow and the willingness to led a life that was mostly self centred rather than God centred is just not possible anymore. Following God’s way, is the only way. I am learning now that he ultimately has a better repayment plan for me.
Now at this milestone birthday so much has changed. Many things utterable, some feelings still forming deep within me. One thing I know for sure is that when I speak to friends and family I do not hesitate to make the connection between God and every plan in my life. I have really come to depend and appreciate the Word of God in my life at all times.
Gospel music producer, Kevin Bond once said a phrase that has stayed with me and that is to “bloom where you are planted”. That is to say- bloom in your church, your job, your business, marriage and friendships. Just bloom. For me turning 30 is about blooming and making it happen.
Here’s to turning 30!!